I have decided I want to be a zumba cat. Let me explain.
Now the other day I was lounging on my favorite spot of the house (a corner of a sofa where I can reach and grab passers-by with my paw in case they do not have the intelligence to stop and pet me) and watched Mommy packing her gym bag. She had just come through the door from the place she calls ”work”, had not forgotten to give us munchies (which is why I was lying all content on the sofa), and now was running around finding stuff to stuff into her bag. Mumbling something about trying to get to the gym in time for zumba.
Zumba? What on earth is zumba? If she is in such a hurry, it must be something to eat. No cat would ever rush anywhere with such stress unless it was about food.
Now I strongly dislike the idea Mommy goes somewhere to eat without bringing us any treats back. But does she? Oh no - when ever she comes home from this ”zumba” you can see she has run like a nut, because she is all red (resembles a tomato on two legs, really), her hair all wet, and showing all the signs of serious physical exercise. But she does not carry treats for us cats. Clearly this zumba is something so delicious it is worth such extreme chase to catch it. And so important people would want to eat it all without sharing.
And so again, Mommy went and came back two hours later, her belly all full of zumba, and fell asleep on the couch for eating so much.
I have to shake my head. Really, people, you should not be so selfish. We have chosen you as our staff, and you should remember your first and foremost priority is to take care of us. Pampering is part of the deal. You give us special treats, you pet us, and we reward you with purrs and affection and waking you up at five in the morning so you won’t waste your days sleeping.
Mommy - from now own I expect to receive my share of zumba.
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